The Day The Doctor Prescribed Me God Part 1
April 2, 2018
I will never forget the day the doctor prescribed me God. I don’t know exactly what I was looking for that day as I walked through the doctors office with a whining baby in my arms and a curious toddler grasping my leg, but I definitely didn’t have God on my radar. I was lonely, oh so lonely and so desperate for a cure. I so badly wanted to escape the sadness, overwhelm, anxiety and just sheer exhaustion that I was facing for the first time in my life. Without me even reaching out to God, He reached out to me in that medical room when the Doctor decided, to my surprise, that God was the prescription I needed.
We had just moved to a new part of Canada away from all of our family and friends. Far away from our village; you know the people who you can call other than the doctor when you are sick, need help, or just those people you can connect with for a coffee. They were gone, my husband was across the world for 5 weeks at a time, and I was struggling to keep any joy or motivation while raising a 4 month old and a 2 year old. It didn’t feel like God was there at all. I remember bursting into tears at the most random times, like when I was brushing my teeth or trying to lift weights. Before I left, my family and friends warned me it would be hard and expressed their concerns of worry. Unfortunately my pride got in the way, so I didn’t reach out to them when I was so alone. I didn’t want them to be right or thinking “I told you so” or try convincing me to come back, so rather than reach out to the ones who loved me, I retracted and suffered in silence. This is what finally brought me into the doctors office for a cure to my overwhelm and anxiety. I told the doctor about my emotional out bursts, the lack of patience, the exhaustion and headaches. Even the thought of doing the dishes just seemed overwhelming. The dishes!! I am generally a pretty happy, laid back person, so all of these feelings were new to me. He sat quietly and listened to me as I poured my heart out to a stranger and with a caring heart the doctor prescribed God as my medicine.
WAIT…WHAT?! GOD?! I mean I was a woman of faith, but this was NOT what I was expecting. I wanted my problems, worries and fears gone NOW. In that place of desperation I decided I had nothing to lose and took the doctors advice . He suggested I find a quick devotional to read each morning before the kids got up and to start going to church to meet a loving community. I want to note that, for me, this happened to be the perfect prescription, however if I was dealing with major depression, I am sure he would have encouraged me to seek out counseling or medication. He was patient and kind enough to take the time to really hear me out and I will be forever grateful for that.
I’m not going to lie though. It was still a real struggle after walking out the the doctors office that day and knowing that how I was feeling wasn’t going to be cured overnight. It also took longer than I expected to get into a more happy and anxiety free place (about 2 years), but I took this prescription for God seriously and started to lean pretty heavily into prayer, the bible and daily devotionals. I began rising 15 minutes before the kids to get some time in with God. This would eventually lead me to rising an hour before them and now I have the most solid, life giving morning routine ever. I will blog about my morning routine soon as it’s seriously had such a positive impact on my life! I also eventually learned how to put different rhythms and routines in place to have my days flowing better. Through this process I redefined what balance looked like for me when my husband was working away. Soon enough, encouraging messages were coming through to me from other people and bible verses started popping out at me that totally spoke to my heart and my struggle. I recorded it all into my journal and I still go back to certain verses that helped me through that time. One verse spoke so loud to me so I wrote it out and stuck it to my fridge as a daily reminder:
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.” –Philippians 4:6-7 New Living Translation (NLT)
I am creating a part 2 to this blog post to share with you in more depth some of the verses that really helped me through this time and bits of my journal entries. I also want to share an encouraging Facebook message I received from another mother who I didn’t know, but felt God putting me on her heart. Pretty amazing stuff! Until then, thank you sweet mama for stopping in. I would love if you would leave me your favorite bible verse or inspiring quote in the comments!
Need more info on how to get some good rhythms and routines going in your life? Check out one of my fave bloggers Allie HERE. She has an amazing podcast and courses to help you declutter and live a more purposeful life!